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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A Surprise Birthday Party

I am going to a surprise birthday party this Saturday. I am happy/sad and mad. I am happy because it is my older brother Willie's birthday (and his twin sister Wilma's). It is the first birthday party he has ever had in his life and a surprise party no less! I am sad because he is so very sick. He was diagnosed with COPD about 5 years ago and it has really gotten bad. He can hardly take a step without being completely out of breath. I am mad because he is such a sweet big brother, this is not fair to be happening to him. I want to just scream! He was always the one we looked to for help and guidance when we were young. He stepped right up when Mother died and took us by the hand and led us through it. I am mad and sad because I cannot stop the world for a little while, so that I can spend a little more time with him, and tell him how much he means to me, how much I love him, and appreciate him for who he is. You know how you get that dreaded feeling that something bad is coming or something horrible is about to happen? Well, I have that feeling, and it is just making me sick to my stomach, and I cannot do anything to stop what is about to happen to my sweet brother.